4 Years Ago I Put a Handgun in My Mouth

I angled the barrel towards my brain.

But I didn't pull the trigger.

In fact, it wasn’t even loaded. I just wanted to know what it would feel like when I did pull the trigger. I wanted the feeling to be familiar.

Crawl, walk, run, right? The Army taught me something.

The Pursuit of Freedom

I joined the military because I have always been attracted to freedom. That’s why I joined. And that’s why I left the military. And that’s why I became a human transformation coach.

But what is freedom? Freedom can be an abstract concept, no?

Living Freedom Every Day

Imagine a world where freedom isn’t just an abstract idea, but a tangible experience you get to live every day. Where you wake up feeling connected to your purpose, and your actions align effortlessly with the life you’ve always dreamed of.

That’s what I’m passionate about helping others create – because I believe every one of us has the capacity to transform our dreams into reality. It’s not a question of whether it’s possible, but of having the courage, the skills, and the playfulness to unlock it.

Breaking Free From Expectations

For years, I lived a life based on others’ expectations. I played it safe, seeking approval from my parents, institutional leaders, and the voice inside that told me not to rock the boat. I figured I could grind it out, check all the boxes, and one day, retire early to live the life I really wanted.

But that day never came. Instead, I hit a wall.

Burned out, stressed, unhealthy, and with a dissolving marriage, I found myself sobbing uncontrollably in my friend’s living room. He had just asked me if I wanted to stay married and be present for my 3 young children. Until then, I had been oblivious to my situation.

That day, I woke up to reality. I decided that I would live an intentional life. This was my first step towards freedom.

The True Meaning of Freedom

We often think of freedom in terms of time or financial independence. But real freedom starts with the relationship we build with ourselves – trusting our instincts, letting go of beliefs that no longer serve us, upgrading comfortable but unhelpful patterns of behavior, and embracing our fears as guides rather than obstacles.

When we shift our mindset from avoiding failure to seeing every challenge as an opportunity for growth, we tap into our true power.

The Challenges That Shape Us

I absolutely love my life these days, but there were lots of challenges along the way to where I am now.

Each one shaped me in some way to be the person I needed to be to experience this new reality of freedom. I’m so grateful for all of the hard things, and for the support I received along the way.

"Each challenge shapes us to be the person we need to be."

Connection Is Key

This journey doesn’t have to be a lonely one. Connection is key. It’s in moments of vulnerability and shared experience that we find not just support, but the courage to take bold action. It’s why I create spaces for people to come together, challenge their limits, and explore their deepest desires in a safe, playful way.

During my dark night of the soul 4 years ago, I had a coach.

He held me in my terror and grief and challenged me to keep raising my gaze to my BIG DREAM. When I lacked the confidence, he lent me his belief and said – "That’s your star! Keep going."

Together we moved through the forge of rebirth, practicing the next version of me until it became real.

Living Your Dream Life

So, what does it take to live your dream life? It’s not just about having a vision – it’s about building the skills to bring that vision to life, step by step, through practice, feedback, and reflection.

Whether it’s in career, relationships, or personal development, the goal is the same: freedom to live life on your own terms. Let’s not just dream about it – let’s live it. Because anything is possible when we combine freedom, connection, and play in pursuit of our BIG DREAM.